Behind the Noose
by NoLongerWritingHere
Summary: A school production of The Crucible does so well they're hired to tour around the country. How did they get that fair though? What happened in the run up to that, and who are the cast when they're not in costume?
1. Prologue

It's a strange world to fall into. It really is.

Not many know what it's like, it seems hard to explain, or in some ways so normal that people don't usually think to even describe it to friends who don't expect it.

It's a completely different world to that of the normal. It's beautiful; as if looking through a snowy veil with eyes of a newborn, or at least eyes that don't belong to you. You're suddenly another person and normal rules don't exist, because they don't need to, and also can't here.

Pumping adrenalin. Not constantly driving, but always there in at least a flicker. Sometimes stronger, and sometimes hardly noticeable, still though it always existed, lacing the edges and coating the sides. It was a part of acting. The supreme heat of being under the lights and the feeling of so many peoples eyes staring relentlessly, drilling into our very souls as we lay them out for all to see, our voices filling the large space with ease without shouting, our very whisper could reach the ears of the near deaf grandma in the very last row in the furthest corner of the theatre.

That was their mantra, almost, created by their teacher. "Images snatched from the blur of hours...A life lived in fear is a life half-lived, you're already in the show, even before you've bought a ticket, for the whole world is a stage, so live it as if you need to sell every seat, and speak as if the Grandmother with hearing problems has a seat in the back row because that's all she can afford." …Although it was a little hard to understand if you hadn't seen her play around it. It kept them strong though, and on task.

This was where we could create our magic. This is where people entered, and were plunged into darkness until the spotlight and gobos found their targets and projected light to show those that created a story. The gobos (special stencils which were placed in front of lights to cast designs) would create the atmosphere and back drop, and we would create ourselves into a way which told a story, using our bodies and our words, and there and then we would create. Simply create a world. One for the audience to escape into and be amazed, shocked. Laugh and cry, maybe even at the same time. Whatever we called for, we created, just for them.

There is a world that we fall into there, a world where we are who we really are not, where we can tell a story which changed the minds of those who watch forever. Where we can say and do what we like, and show them how ridiculous something they agreed with at work or with a politician could be if they saw it from another point of view. Here, we could change the world. We were bohemians, Children of the Revolution, Gothics, escaping into a world that was not their own, so they didn't have to be themselves for a moment, even the slightest, or Gothics who just needed to express. We were English enthusiasts, who just had a great love for the written word, and here they could make it be heard in a place people would actually sit up and take notice.

This is a world where everyone met to become something more than just one, so we could get something done that one person alone could not. This is where nothing else but the play mattered, where histories between you and someone else in the cast who you didn't usually get along with didn't even exist anymore. At the door you left your old self behind and became as blank as the black clothes which were our uniforms. Until you were given a character, you didn't even have a personality, not really. Until then you were simply a vessel.

The rustling of a cloak as a tall figure swept around, making to hit another, the shouts and screams for justice, the sobbing as a wife had to part with a husband and vice versa, a lullaby sung to her children, the sounds of a shout and thump as someone was thrown across the room.

The feel of stage makeup which was cold and plastered in many layers over the skin. It was so one wouldn't look washout out under the lights. The covering of highlights and dyed hair, tattoos, scars and piercings, hair now roughly mussed, hair tied back with simple clips and ties, no gel for anyone.

Such a soft accent covering everyone's voices, Puritan ways taking over the mind, body and soul, lines coursed back and forth, back and forth, for hours on end. Line which were known better than the words to your favourite song – words which made perfect sense to the minds involved and simply strung along line to line, page to page and scene to scene.

A new family, the new world we could create. People from all different years now, suddenly, family, as brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, sons, daughters, were born from the script into our lives, people you had never really taken notice of in the school corridors now, supposedly our new best friend, husband, soul mate. It was uncanny. A world where the real world did not exist. Someone you couldn't stand during school hours could now hold the power over you, could now be your new boyfriend and girlfriend, could now kill you with a single word or action, or save your life and embrace you with another.

It was the one thing that would bring us all together. Different years of a school, different ages, sexes, races, social groups, just everything that would usually separate us don't anymore, now that we're in a family of our own. It's not like we have a mother and a father and grandparents and brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc, It's just that we shared something that made us all individuals in a way that no one else could try to match or try to be a part of.

The chance to be someone you're not. Such a magical experience. Such a lucky chance, such grace.

Everything evolves into one, magical thing. People changed into someone they usually were not with simple fabric, different words, music or sound effects in the background along with a backdrop, a stage, set, props. Co actors blending with co actors to mix their words and create a story, create a statement. Create a play.

It was where most of us belonged, we felt our sanctuary was there, from the moment we walked through the doors and greeted the techies with our boxes and truck loads of sets, until the depressing and emotional time of when we would repack everything up, help the techies reset the stage and the lighting booth until it was the same as it had been before we had entered the space.

It was our home. Plain and simply, it was our home.


	2. Good Reviews

There were about five of us gathered around the three moderators, our Director/Drama teacher standing behind the two leads, Matty and myself. We had just finished our Moderated performance of The Crucible, as in only minutes ago, and were now waiting with bated breath to hear what they had to say.

There were three of them, which was strange. Usually only one was sent to a remote city, or two if they had a lot of schools to do but had ended up both free to do a certain job. Our teacher/director, (casually known as Ms Stokes throughout the school, known to us more as Aunty Lou, known fully as Mrs Louise Stokes-Chapman) hadn't seemed surprised to see the three of them though, but had informed us of how strange it was, and with a knowing smile she had left it at that.

We were crowded around the three, the lights were still dimmed and the rest of the cast were packing up behind us. The performance had been held at our school during the end half of the day while the first half had been a last minute rehearsal. We were still in out costumes, stage makeup still on, my hair still a mess since my character had just been in jail and the noose was still swinging from the closing lines.

The Moderators were looking thoughtful, but smiling at the same time. Different smiles, they were actually _happy_ smiles. This usually never happened. Moderators always had the façade of polite interest, emotions legally not allowed to show anything else, but these three; I didn't remember their names at the time, were smiling and looking pleased with themselves.

"Well done!" the eldest, an aged and yet graceful lady stepped forward, and all three of them looked as if they actually meant these words, and weren't just saying it to be polite. We were all smiling, still eager to act, run, be active; we were all hyped up on adrenaline still.

"Keep on smiling, you have reason to. That's all we can technically say about your performance." Said the second moderator, "This is generally where we'd leave it without saying anymore…but…this is a special case."

We looked at Aunty Lou. Special Case? What could that mean? Her knowing smile made us savvy to the fact she already knew, and didn't look upset about it at all, (unless she was highly skilled in looking politely happy, and as a good drama teacher, that wasn't impossible) but still, something let us know this wasn't a bad issue.

More and more members of the rest of the cast were joining us in ones or twos now, even though they had been told they weren't allowed. Aunty Lou didn't look like she was about to turn them away though.

"As you know, The Crucible is a widely used Year 12 text throughout Australia and in other countries as well." The third moderator now spoke. This seemed to be his area, possibly the reason to as why he was there at all in the first place. "For a while now we've been trying to work out how long lived The Crucible's time will be in the ranks of the text available for Year12 and further studies, but we've recently decided that it has years yet left on the shelf. 10 years, possibly more, most likely. Another study we did then showed that students who just read the script had generally lower marks than those who saw it as a play. Those who saw it as a movie got the lowest marks of all, since the movie is completely different from the text in some of the most pivotal parts, and those who acted it out did of course, the best, since they understood it on so many more levels."

At this the five year12 PES Drama students exchanged a smile with their teacher, before returning their attention to the Moderators.

"We want to change this. People rely on the movie too much because they can't be bothered to read. We can't exactly make a new movie though, one closer to the script…"

"So, we have decided to make a touring version of The Crucible. With most of you, as the cast."

It took a while for this to sink in. Behind us there were shrieks of happiness as some of the younger members hugged and slapped high fives, but us five stood there as still as stone whilst an even larger grin spread over our teachers face. From behind I was tackled by another member of the cast and then I broke into a happy smile and hugged him back whilst the rest of the Year12s pilled on. We couldn't believe it. Us? Touring _Australia_ doing The Crucible? My very favourite play I had ever read and known of, and this was at the perfect timing, we were finishing Year12 in a few months and then what? Only one of us five had even applied for a Uni, and the rest of us were just going to work, or travel maybe…and-

"Calm down, calm down…" the moderators were laughing along with us. "We should have given you the bad news first. The only thing is, not all of you can be in it. Your version is slightly different to the script in parts, which is fine and worked well, but if you're going to perform it simply for students to learn the play for their exams and class study, then it has to be exact."

At this we all calmed down a little, but that wasn't any big deal, and it made sense to us all. We had all linked arms, or were holding hands, the whole cast was gathered there now, and the three moderators were already like part of our family now as well, simply by bringing the good news.

"What do you mean by 'not all of us can be in it'?" one of us asked. She was one of us Year12s (one of us main four, the fifth to our group was a student teacher and vaguely our age, so he counted as one of us for most of the time) who had been moderated until just minutes ago, and always liked to question everything down to the last cm before she could be happy (or upset) with something.

"Well, some of your characters are played by two actors and actresses, whereas we don't need that. If we're going to be paying you all to act these characters…" the moderator paused again at our happy squeal at the thought of being actually _paid_ for these roles. "Then we want to get our monies worth out of you. When we have our cast organised there will be one person to each character." At this I exchanged a look with a girl in a year younger than myself, Caitlin, since she and I shared the character Elizabeth Proctor. In our version, she would act one show, then I the next, then she would, then I would and so on. Whilst the other would act, the other would sit on the side of the stage (the cast who wasn't acting on stage at the time were arranged in seats around the edge of the stage, according to whether they were for or against the McCarthyism nature of the underlying-…ignore me, I don't make any sense when I ramble on about the underlying levels of our production, but basically we sat on opposite sides of the stage according to whether we were 'good' or 'bad' and the other Elizabeth Proctor would sit and knit or something. Now, there would only be one of us, how were we going to be able to handle that? What if she got the part- …No. We would not get into that again. I linked arms with her and we turned our attention back to the Moderators.

"How would you organise and decide who gets which part then?" Ashley asked as she was another person who was doubled up with a character. She played Mary Warren and was maybe two years below myself, and she shared the character with the girl who had asked the first question, about how not all of us could be in it.

"Auditions of course." The first moderator said with a knowing grin as we all groaned. We had done more auditions to last us a lifetime at the end of the year before to earn the characters we had now. One of the main reason to as why some of us were sharing a character now was the decision had been too hard for Aunty Lou to make.

"But don't worry about the auditions for now, they won't be held until a few months after everyone's final exam. So concentrate on them first and then we'll be in contact to discuss the finer points of the auditions." I exchanged a look with the male lead, Matty. We knew of how harsh and personal some people could get when their personal subject was overshadowed by another. Other courses wouldn't be happy to know everyone here now only cared about their Drama. There had probably been a lot of debate to as whether we could be told about this before our final exams at all, since they would guess we would all probably focus on our auditions instead of our final exams now. I knew at least that I would, especially since I really wasn't planning to go to Uni or not. I would be practising my parts over and over again so I would win the part of Elizabeth Proctor fully and completely, all to myself because deep down, I knew I wasn't good enough for this touring version. By the look on Caitlin's face though, I knew she had the same plan. She was in the year below me, so she didn't have to exactly worry about Year12 exams, which were quite different from Year11 exams. Ours were two hours longer for example, each and every one of them.

"Will it be open auditions? Can we go for a part we didn't have before?" Taysa asked, an annoying, obsessive girl in a younger year who had the part of Goody Putnam. I could tell she wanted my part; she had auditioned for it in the first round auditions at the end of the year before for the fact she wanted nothing more than to cosy up to Matty, the male lead.

"No." Aunty Lou cut in, thankfully. "Only those under review will go through auditioned."

"Only those who are doubled up on a part, and no, you should stick with the part you have here…unless you really want to try for a different." She exchanged an uneasy look as if she just realised this could and probably would get a whole lot messier than it should have. "If you feel like you have to though…go for it." One of the moderators reiterated. "Also…to be truthful a few people will also have to audition since we're not quite happy with their standard of acting…they might be replaced with the other Crucible cast from one of the schools down south, but don't worry!" she tried to reassure us, as most of our faces seemed to give away out feelings of horror at the thought that we might not be good enough. "There's only about three…perhaps five of you, who are in that group. Also, there aren't too many other performances of this recently so there's not much competition. Most of the parts we won't choose from here are smaller characters, but we'll get to that at a later date. Your teacher can explain it all to you in length. Our plane leaves in a few hours, so we really have to go, but we'll be in touch…once again, very good job, all of you."

And with that, the three moderators left, our Aunty Lou walking them out.

"My god…" I whispered, and was swept up into a hug by my co actor and script husband, and was quickly joined by Caitlin, my co Elizabeth and Andrew, who played Judge Danforth. Who could be what you would call my illegal boyfriend, I guess, he was also the student teacher, but I'll get to that later.

"We're going to be famous!"

I don't even remember who said that, but at the time I remember thinking, hang on, no way could this even be possible. Us? Well, the 'us' which was eventually chosen? Tour Australia acting out The Crucible for Year12 English and/or Drama students and anyone else who was studying The Crucible for whichever reason? Live a life of just acting?

"Would we actually get paid?" Kieran asked in my ear, sounding disbelieving. So he was having the same kind of thoughts as I was, about the future already before we even changed out of our costumes and got back to our classes. I had barely even had lunch yet!

"It's not about the money." Andrew and I snapped back, rolling our eyes. It was about the acting. But right now, life was about classes, and we had to get back to them. Our moderated performance had taken place halfway through the day after another short rehearsal. We had been excused from classes to be a part of it, and now, most of the cast could go home since it was the end of the typical day of classes. As a year12 student though, I now had an after school class of Design Practical, and I had to get to it, I was already about 10 minutes late and I still had to get out of my costume and try to calm my hair down and get the stage makeup off. Also, I wouldn't say no to something to eat. Caitlin had Theory of Knowledge with one or two of the other members of the cast, Alysha had a music class, Matty usually had sports but instead was coming with me to Design so he could get a lift home with another guy called Matty (who we usually called Smeagol instead to avoid confusion) and Andrew was coming with us to Design as well since he was helping me with my Practical. We were a family, we had grown to be one, and you practically had to when you almost lived together for more than half a year. Every Saturday and Sunday at least, every week we would meet from 8am until 5pm, and that was the schedule at the very least. Since we were doing the play for our Year12 Drama as well (that's why we had just performed it as a Moderated piece after all) we usually rehearsed it in class we well, and then quite often we would have extra meets during lunch times or after school for smaller groups or pairs. We did the play as a Whole School production, but it had grown to become the Year12 piece, and most year11s or Year10s who were apart of it got marked for it as well in the end.

And now, perhaps they were breaking us apart. Scraping those who weren't so good, and keeping the rest. Flying us around the country and-

…maybe I should just start from the very, very start, and go on from there. I expect you're all very, very confused right about now.


	3. Audition Blues

Settling herself on the ground, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing her eyes for a moment before she opened them and stood, her frame hunched over a little with one arm wrapped around her own waist, the other holding a bag to herself almost protectively.

"I'm glad." She started, speaking clearly and as if the seventy or so people weren't watching her at all. She continued, one foot swaying slightly as she fidgeted, her weight on her other foot.

"I like doing theatre, even though it's my first time. I like it because I'm doing something. Using up energy. Getting out of my ward. God, how I hate that ward." She paused, her eyes rolling sky-ward, as if to give her release. "You ask if I don't like it?" She asked suddenly, and laughed. "What gave you that idea? My parents had me committed. They think it's sort of like a holiday. Those dirty white and olive walls give me the heebie jeebies, they really do. Cosi gave me something to think about, something to do." She laughed again, as if there was an inside joke somewhere there, even though there wasn't. "See, I'm happy coming to this burnt out theatre." She paused, thinking again, knowing she had more to say but didn't really know how to say it.

"It's peculiar about drugs. Doug hates them because he likes to be naturally high all the time. Zac likes them because everything passes like he's in a dream or limbo. I think I'm a naturally addictive personality. I like what they give you here, because not to be on drugs, whatever sort, is like being in limbo for me. Drugs make me feel sort of living. Completely the opposite for Doug. Especially junk. Ever had it?" Her eyes looked like they were calculating someone, who wasn't even there. "No, you haven't, I can tell. A bit of pot, touch of acid, right?" She smiled reassuringly, and paused yet again, as if listening.

"Junk? It's like...Like lying in a warm, cloudy river. Some people can't imagine life without love, well I can't imagine life without junk. I know it's stupid, that's why I like doing this theatre thing. Doesn't make me sit in my ward thinking, what I need right now is..." She trailed off, everyone knowing what she was thinking but wouldn't say. She fixed the bag strap on her shoulder, and smiled an energetic smile. "I'm really full of beans, you know? I could cut your hair in a minute flat." With one last promising smile, Katharine held for a moment before bowing to the half intrigued, half polite applause.

"Very good Katharine, which character are you going for?"

"Elizabeth Proctor."

"Ahh yes. That's a fantastic piece you used, paralleling it by Julie's act of feeling quiet and reserved because of her drug dependency with Elizabeth's quiet and reserved act because of her husbands adultery. Very good."

Katharine took her place between her friends shakily, although smiling about her performance. At least she hadn't stuffed up any of the lines like she had done in so many practises that same day. She loved the piece she had done, but was worried it was too much talking and not enough acting, and she didn't know if she had pulled off the 'talking to air' thing well enough for people to be able to understand her character had been supposed to be talking to a character called Lewis, and wasn't just rambling to herself...

A few more people ran through their auditions, Katharine barely taking any notice guiltily, too worried about how her own performance had been. It was her last year, her last chance at getting the roll she wanted. If she didn't get a role she knew she could do well in then it would make her Year12 PES Drama piece oh so much harder, something she really didn't need the next year. It was October, 2004, and they were in the middle of the first auditions for next years whole school play of The Crucible. Four of them would be marked for their performance in the production for their actual Year12 Drama course, and then everyone else who was in any year except for year seven or eight would be marked as well, but to a great lesser point.

They had only known of the production for a month or so, their teacher had brought it up just before one lunch time after a class as a passing comment. Katharine had paused by the door and given Aunty Lou a calculating look.

"Yes Katta?" even their teacher called the girl by her nickname.

"Which character should I try out for?"

Mrs Louise Stokes-Chapman put down the folder she was holding and straightened, gazing at her student carefully for a long drawn out moment.

"…Elizabeth Proctor." She finally answered, and then returned to packing up her books. "I have a script if you'd like to look over it now?"

"No, that's okay." Katharine had smiled. "I'm going to the canteen to buy it right now. I'll need it for English next year anyway." And with that it had been decided. She would be trying out for Elizabeth Proctor even though she knew not even the first thing about The Crucible for the simple fact that her teacher hadn't yet suggested her a character that she hadn't loved on first sight.

It was handy, being able to do the same script for both her English and Drama class, and then also the huge school production. Maybe she could also base her design practical around it…that would make it easier…because then should could - …no, maybe not. It could get overkill and already she could quickly get sick of the script, especially since she would be spending all Friday afternoons as well as the full day of Saturday and Sunday at the school in rehearsals…

It also meant that that most of the towns year 11 and year 12 students would come to see the show though, since they would be studying it that year or the next, and that thought was a little scary. Still, it would be good to have a full house every night they performed, and talk had been heard that they would be performing every night for a fortnight, instead of just five days like they had every other year.

It was also just too scary to think about though.

Everything was a rush. Katharine leant her head on the short form of a friend next to her, Gareth, who had already gone through his audition and was sitting happily, not seeming worried at all. Of course he didn't have to be, he was easily one of the most talented of their class. With a sigh, she closed her eyes and wrinkled her nose as Garth chuckled and patted her hair.

"You did fine, dear." He assured. "Just wait and see, your name will appear on the call back lists…"

The date of the first audition, which Katharine had felt terribly about, had been on the 7th of November, 2003. Even though she could hardly believe it, Katharine got through to the next round and was asked to select a piece of Elizabeth's dialogue from the script for this next round. For the first they had been asked to not use anything from the actual script, since it would be unfair to ask _all_ those auditioning to get a hold of a script and learn a part of it already.

Now though, it was becoming slightly more serious. Only 12 out of the 30 who showed up to the first rounds did and Ms Stokes was getting worried. They'd need a much larger cast even than 30, yet most who arrived for the first round just weren't right for the part, most of them auditioning to get out of a class which wasn't what they were looking for at all. She really didn't know what she was going to do, and so she went scouting through the school for people she could _ask_ to come to audition, instead of simply letting people come on their own accord.

The next audition wasn't for half a week after the first, which wasn't nearly long enough in Katharine's opinion. She had chosen to do a little less than half the page of 119, starting from "John, it come to naught that I should forgive you, if you'll not forgive yourself…"

"It is not my soul John…it is _yours_."

She knew these lines were paramount to her character and also to the script but also knew she wasn't delivering them quite right, yet there wasn't much she could do for it with such little notice on the next audition date. That was Aunty Lou's point though, she didn't want a polished performance from anyone yet, she just wanted to see flashes of what they had to offer. With a sigh, the day came quickly and before she knew it Katharine was suddenly on the stage again under the preset lights, reciting the lines surprisingly perfectly, but still not with the right emotion behind them.

Luckily though, it saw her through to the next rounds along with another girl who was going for the same part, Caitlin, a girl in a year younger than her who had been in many productions before as well. Katharine knew she didn't have a chance in all of the deepest pits of hell.

November 14th was the third round of auditions. Those who were going for the part of Mary Warren were quickly whittled down and it was clear to see that Ms Stokes had her eyes set on a young girl called Ashley and one of the soon-to-be-Year-12-Students Alysha. It was announced in front of everyone, much to Katharine's confirmed fear. She'd hate the feeling of when it was announced Caitlin had won the part over her…she shook her head and tried to concentrate on there here and now.

In Katharine's opinion, Alysha was so defiantly going to get it. That could also be because she had been in productions with Alysha before, whereas with Ashley she hadn't yet. Ashley was two or so years below them, and Katharine and Alysha had been in the same classes throughout all their high school years so far. And they were technically best friends, so there was the slight chance that Katharine was biased somewhat.

Brendan, another male who was soon to be a year 12 and had also been in the same classes as Katharine for years, got the character he auditioned for…and then pulled out later that afternoon after he learned it clashed with his football practise. He had been an actor somewhat over the years, but not for any great deal of time at once. He would be in the class for one semester and then move onto a different subject…then return, then disappear again. It was sad to see him go though, he could hold a steady performance and he was a nice fun guy to have around. Just not exactly reliable.

Another character was already cast as well; Gareth got his character, John Hale. It's not much of a surprise there though, Gareth is probably the best actor out of us all so whichever character he goes for, he'll get. Well, actually that's a lie. Gareth is rather short for a male, and although he would have loved the main male role, John Proctor, it simply wouldn't have worked on stage, which was a pity. Those down for John Proctor were now a younger male called John (which seemed to fit) and Matty Ryan, who was in the same year as Katharine.

Ms Stokes was still no where near choosing an Abigail though, most females had auditioned for her role after all, but in Katharine's opinion it was probably down to a girl called Lucy, who was two years younger like Ashley, and Kristy, who was Katharine's friend and only a year younger.

The next day during lunch Ms Stokes informed those who were around her of an interesting fact. Quite often drama students joined her in her office for lunch to chat or escape the heat for the air conditioning. Alysha, Caitlin, Gareth and Katharine found out that already she was down to two Proctors, and two Elizabeth's. She's worked out the chemistry, so they were also divided into two groups, Caitlin and John were one (mostly due to both John and Caitlin's height), and Matty Ryan and Katharine were another.

That day after school was another rehearsal, and most of it was spent putting the pairs of all characters together, practically competing against each other. Ashley and Alysha were going for Mary Warren, Lucy and Kristy were going for Abigail, John and Matty for Proctor and Caitlin and Katharine for Elizabeth.

Katharine hated that audition. It was spent for what felt like hours, first Caitlin and John standing together as if man and wife, and Matty and Katharine. And then they would swap, and then swap back. Then they would have to hug, and swap, and hug, and it was ridiculous. John was away too tall against Katharine, she was about the same height as his shoulder if she was lucky, and she looked more his child than his wife.

The rehearsal ended on a low note, no one really had any clue on how well or how bad they had done, and what the outcome would be. Their teacher had a strange look on her face as she had watched each character or each pair take the stage, no one could really work out what was going on in their mind.

They would finally find out who would receive what part on Friday the 19th though, a date that couldn't come fast enough.

Thursday the 18th of November was the worst for Katharine. She moped around, depressed, absolutely sure of the fact that Caitlin was going to get it, and she would have to earn her marks for her next years class through doing the lighting or something. Without a main part it would be fairly certain that her final grade for drama would be pretty low, and Katharine just couldn't let that happen. She was already pretty sure that she was going to fail Year 12 anyway, she never could seem to get assignments handed in on time if at all, and everything just left her head during exams and tests…She _needed_ this role, it was her only chance really to pass high school at all, yet…Caitlin was going to get it for sure.

Katharine went to bed that night feeling beaten and depressed. She may as well drop out of school this very moment…What was the use of continuing school if it was evident now that she was going to fail? She may as well quit now and get a job or something, instead of wasting a year of money and only receive a notice of failure.

Katharine cried herself to sleep that night.


	4. The Beginning

"Oh my God!" Katharine and Caitlin leapt to their feet at the same time and practically tackled each other in a hug, those around them chuckling or simply or simply looking on in an amused fashion.

"John and Matty, you'll be sharing the role like these two." Ms Stokes continued announcing the winners of the roles, she had said Elizabeth first for the simple fact it looked like both girls were about to cry. "Alysha, Ashley, you'll both be sharing Mary Warren as well and Lucy, Kristy, you'll both be sharing Abigail." Their teacher smiled at them all over her notes. "Caitlin, John, Ashley and Lucy, you'll all be performing every second performance, Katharine, Matty, Alysha and Kristie, you'll be performing every other night. …Which means that yes, you are the Opening Act, and this is also the night where the Year 12 students of the class shall be moderated for their group performance by Mr Sheer."

The bell that signalled the end of lunch rang, but no one moved from their seats, all wanting to know more.

"Next Monday everyone be here during lunch, we'll start the script reading. We'll run through it twice so you get more used to them, and also so the doubled characters can have a full run through each. We'll just say them on the carpet though, no acting yet." Ms Stokes was packing up her papers into a neat and orderly pile. "I suggest that you all try and get your hands on a script. Nearly everyone has to do this script in Year 12 for English, unless you're in remedial, so older brothers and sisters may have one you can borrow. The library has limited copies and the boarders get first option to hire one out for next year. The canteen is ordering in more copies though, I think there is about five left…so go and hurry. Other than that, the book stores down at Casuarina have them, so I hope to see you all with a copy of the script on Monday, if not, organise to share with someone by then as well. Five minutes into lunchtime on Monday I want us all to be well into reading aloud from the script, so no stuffing around." Their teacher rose to her feet and then raised an eyebrow as still no one went to leave their seats; all were still watching her with eager expressions.

"Now, off to class." She mock ordered as she pointed directly at the door. "And I'll see you all within minutes of the lunch bell on Monday."

"I told you you'd get it!" Gareth patted Katharine on her back with a smirk, making her hug him in thanks.

"It was close though." Katharine pointed out, linking arms with Cait as she joined, and they babbled along the way to the art block about how they were script sisters, or twins, or something to that degree since they were the same character now.

They waved Caitlin off at her art room and then Gareth and Katharine continued on, their arms still linked.

"Don't worry," he assured her as if he knew what was going through her mind. "We have to perform The Crucible a few months later again, don't we? You Year12s are being marked on this for Group Performance as well as Class, so for the group you'll both share the part, and then in the performance for the class performance, you'll have the character all to yourselves and Cait'll have to be one of the servant girls or something, won't she? If she's even needed for it at all." Gareth winked as Katharine thought this over. That was true. When it all boiled down to it she owned the character moreso than Cait did, since she would act it more and it was her Year12 project…in English she would probably have to help the rest of the class with the character…would probably have to read Elizabeths character when they worked on the individual scenes for an essay…Hmmm…

"Thanks Gareth." Katharine hugged him goodbye as they reached his art room and then continued on to hers.

"Well!" Ms Bradley demanded as she entered the room about 20 minutes after the bell had actually gone.

"I got the part." Katharine grinned, and was hug tackled by both her teacher and two of her class mates.

It was a good day.

Surprisingly, even though this was the first day of rehearsals for Katharine, this was the only excerpt from her journal, nothing about the actual script reading at all, only what had happened outside of it:

_November 22nd - Well, SOMEONE wrote 'Smeagle loves Cait' on the blue table in the area behind the drama centre. Caitlin saw it and blamed me just coz it was in my handwriting! Someone could've stolen my hand and used it but no one ever thinks on my wavelength cries_

So anyway, everyone in Crucible were gathered together by some lockers, since Stokes wanted sometime to think. Caitlin came to attack me for what she assumed I'd written so I ducked through them all so I'd at least be on the other side of them but Matty was there and he swung me over his shoulder. BAMB. Slams my shoulder and arm into a pole. OOWwwwwwwwwwww...and I'm still being swung around in his arms like a doll. Some husband.

_"You can't be human, you barely weigh a thing!"_

_"Shut the hell up Matty and LET ME DOWN!"_

_So he swings me down from his shoulder, but I'm still clinging so I won't fall._

_"...LET ME DOWNNNN!"_

_"Just put your feet down and you will be down!"_

_"...I knew that glares" lol_

_So now my arm hurts and it's really badly bruised ;-;_

That's all that really happened for today…ciao for now! I'm off to care for my arm : 

Quite surprisingly really, since one would have assumed that she would be at least a little more excited for it, but perhaps pain does that to a person.

Really though, even though she was beyond glad and happy that she'd won the part…she also wished somehow that she didn't have to share it, although she knew that was a greedy thought. She had won the part, why wasn't that enough? The fact was though, she was jealous of Caitlin and knew she'd be in her shadow for the whole performance…she was so close to having the part to herself…there was talk of Caitlin's mum encouraging her to drop out and focus on her year 11 studies instead and with a guilty thought Katharine wished hard that Cait would give in and do as her mother wanted. Then she would have no competition.

Katharine was really just too self conscious and really didn't think well about herself, especially in the acting department. She had been studying the art ever since she was five or so years old. She had been born deaf, and even though it had only turned out to be liquid clogging her ear tunnels and everything had been drained when she was three, she had always been a bit behind the other kids in the 'learning how to talk' department, and she had difficulty learning how to pronounce most of her speech, and lisped and stuttered as well, just to round it all off. So she had been enrolled into drama classes to help with her speech therapy, then grown a love for it and had remained in one class or another forever after that.

As a child the classes had been more on vocal projection and other voice techniques rather than acting, and then the years of drama in primary school had been quite lame. There were no real drama teachers there, and the plays they had done were of poor quality, mostly with scripts beside them on stage…so it wasn't until high school that Katharine had even got a real chance at learning how to act anyway, despite the years of training.

Katharine sighed and picked up her script once more, settling into her entrance scene in Act Two. It was going to be a long night.

Weeks later they were all taking turns up acting out slowly through the scenes, standing on the large square of carpet which they called their stage. The rest were spread out either on the black boxes pushed up against the back of the room or on the floor around the sides of their pretend stage, reading along with those on stage or marking in the stage directions as they were created, even though there was no doubt they all would be changed at least ten times before the final stage directions would finally be decided on.

They had only just started for the day. It was their first Saturday rehearsal and like they had been doing for years, their rehearsal had opened with an hour of theatre sports to warm them up. Today it had been the 'getting to know each other' type, since most of the cast didn't know more then four or so people by name if they were lucky, the range of years was just too many. It had been strange. They had been led through lessons where they'd sat crossed leg'd on the floor, knees pressed against whoever you were facing, and they'd had to make the other laugh without making a single noise. Katharine was hopeless at the exercise. She couldn't make anyone else laugh except one small girl, but then again no one else could make her laugh either…except for Matty, her soon to be husband, but that was a little unfair. They had been friends for the past four days, and he had blackmail on her as thick as a brick, and by reminding her of everything they'd gone through, she was instantly in stitches. Especially that time when they'd taken the fire extinguisher from one of the IT rooms and let it off in the bottom oval, and then the whole class had been kept in a month later when their teacher had finally realised. The funniest thing was though, their teacher demanded that they return it, because according to him 'It was taken this very lesson! It was there this morning!" …when it had actually been gone for weeks.

Working with Matty would be interesting to say the least. Semi-attraction was there, a little, never enough to act upon but mostly it was the fact he was interesting. Different. It was hard to tell what could happen between them after the hours upon hours of rehearsals they would have to suffer through before the production was over, and Katharine was unsure on what she even wanted to happen. Matty was a friend, or really more of an acquaintance, but if they met out at the shops or somewhere on the weekend they would hang out for a while. At concerts they would stick together if they ran into each other, and they had given each other lifts home after parties and such, yet they wouldn't exactly call each other a friend.

So it would be strange to suddenly play his husband, and Katharine hoped a certain part in Act Four would be stripped from their final cut, since she didn't know how comfortable she would be with kissing him, or really anyone, on stage in front of her whole school as well as close friends and family.

Oh the teasing which would happen…

And the thought of having to rehearse it many times a day…week after week…

Katharine shuddered, she couldn't imagine anything worse.

They separated from the activity and moved onto a game of learning each others names, bouncing off player from across the room by calling out their real name and then character name to pass the ball along, so to say, and then the tagged player would have to call on someone else. It seemed easy, to simply state someone's name and character name as they threw a bean bag juggling ball, but it was harder than it seemed since it sped up quickly and most people only knew the names of two or three people, and once you had called on someone once, you couldn't call on them again for the rest of the game.

It broke the shy silence if nothing else, by the end of the game they had all remembered maybe two or three names of once strangers, and they were all smiling or nursing pretend bruises where the bean bag had hit them in the head or stomach.

Afterwards most sat on the floor or went outside, starting to learn their lines as only a few were on stage at one time. They each had a book along with their script where they had to write their stage directions for each line, and also their thoughts and any other notes they could have on their own character. When it got to the final stages of plotting it all out, they would seriously need the book if only to remember all their stage movements, it got confusing when the old ones were still fresh in your mind, taking over where the new ones should be. Ms Stokes had brought this rule in when she came to the class.

They went home after the first full day rehearsal happily, the day had gone well and it was exciting to be ain a production again. They each held a script lovingly in their hands, a few words from here and there remaining in their memories, as well as a few names of soon to be familiar faces.

Caitlin and Katharine had plans to bake cookies for the next rehearsal and next time they would probably try to bring pillows and blankets to curl up with, since the theatre room was freezing.

The end of school neared in a blur, there were exams and final assignments handed in and yet not much attention was paid to them, not with The Crucible being much more interesting instead. They went through more script readings and started to organise a day in the holidays when they would all meet to watch the movie version, before Ms Stokes heard of their plans and banned them from seeing the movie, since it was so different from the script and wouldn't help them at all.

To be truthful the first few weeks of rehearsal were all as boring as hell. The first Act, which they had begun with (obviously) only involved someone young to play the part of Betty lying in bed, while her father agonised around her, and then before they knew it the holidays had appeared and the school year was over. Not all parts had been cast yet, Ms Stokes wanted to get a few of the new kids to play the roles of the children in the play, and so there were gaps and pauses as other people jumped up from the shadows off stage to take the place where needed.

"Learn _all_ your lines over the break." Ms Stokes instructed them all, with a stern look in her eyes. "Every single one of them. You have over six weeks, and the only excuses I want to hear are from Gareth, Matty and John, who have the parts with the most lines. Everyone else, you have _no_ excuse, and if I hear one, there'll be hell to pay." She paused, and reconsidered her words. "…Unless you get hit by a car or something. …Actually, no, because then you'd be in bed all day and you'd have no excuse."

"You want us to get hospitalised so we can read all day?" Anthony (who was playing Paris, the father in the first act) asked in disbelief.

"All I'm saying is, that if that happened, at least you'd learn your lines." Ms Stokes paused, "As long as you were able to return to rehearsals once they started again of course…"

"We'll learn them anyway without having to break something!" Ricky protested, the other students agreeing vocally or with a simply nod.

"Good then, prove it." Ms Stokes smiled at them and then ushered them all out of the room.

"Happy holidays!"

The holidays passed quickly, and they met for one rehearsal during the end of it, those who weren't away on holidays out of the state did anyway, and it was then when they found out the first bit of bad news.

John had dropped out of The Crucible.


End file.
